Mr. H list 6: Top 20 Gimmicks of the 1990s

The 19-freaking-90s.

To anyone my age, the 1990s were awesome. There were no better times. At our age, we're now dealing with really stupid and seemingly pointless things such as college and schoolwork and drama. But back then, we were young. There was nothing standing in our way from doing everything we wanted, and there was no better time period for that. The 1990s were highly experimental, where a lot of new things showed up. No longer were cartoons only showed on Saturdays, and they were becoming more lenient on how they were shown.

Take that, 1890s.

There's not much else to say without saying the same thing over again. The 1990s was the absolutely perfect decade for a child to grow up. I don't care what your dad or mom or grandpa says, we were given the best, and even though most of it is now gone due to the unfortunately short lifespan of fads in America, we're still always going to remember this stuff.

So, here we are, Mr. H's Top 20 Gimmicks of the 1990s:

20. Furbies

Most people who look into their eyes are never heard from again.

Released amidst Christmas Spirit in 1998, Furbies were a shortcut straight to anyone's heart. Never before was there a toy that spoke it's own language, Furbish. Although it's rumored that you can teach Furbies bad words as you own it and talk around it, it's not true. And as time goes on, it automatically learns more English phrases to communicate with. Also, using an infra-red technology, they were able to speak to each other using their own language. At the time, NOTHING rivaled their power. Every kid had one, my family in particular had about ten. Sadly, we don't have them anymore. Furbies have since been discontinued, and are a rare sight. If you have one, keep it.

19. The ESRB Rating System

In my pre-list blog about my personal memories of the 1990s, Mortal Kombat played a significant role in that. This gory video game, accompanied by other violent video games such as Doom, convinced paranoid parents and church-goers riot long enough to establish an official rating system among video games.  From 1994 and on, all games had to be rated from eC to AO. Mortal Kombat was blessed with the nice M for Mature rating, and that particular rating is of extreme prominence today.

18. South Park

One of the only single shows on this countdown, South Park revolutionized every type of humor possible. Although particularly targeting my least favorite type of humor, vulgar humor. Regardless of my tastes, South Park is still running, and most likely will keep running for more years to come. After it was introduced in 1997 and pissed off more church-goers, it cemented itself in Comedy Central's lineup. It's still one of the most watched programs today.

17. Power Rangers

Pink is such a damn whore

I recapped Power Rangers in my pre-list blog, although I wasn't much of a fan of them, they were huge. There was not one kid who did not know about the Power Rangers. With an incredibly cheesy yet satisfyingly ridiculous show to accompany the countless amount of merchandise that went along with it, such as action figures, birthday cakes, Halloween costumes, the list goes on. Even though Power Rangers still continues today, the amount of useless not-90s gimmicks they add to the show have made it completely stale and not-watchable (I tried sitting through it last Saturday).


16. Ren & Stimpy

Ren & Stimpy invented crude cartoon humor. Without this show, you wouldn't have South Park or any other crudely-humored shows, for that matter. One of three cartoons to debut on Nickelodeon on the same day (we'll hit that later), this show was easily the biggest of the three. This show was often criticized for not having what paranoid parents would call "child-appropriate humor", and instead was often coined with adult and sexual humor. Because of that, Ren & Stimpy has stapled itself into not only being one of the best cartoons that Nickelodeon produced, but one of the best cartoons of all time. Even IGN's pathetically inaccurate list of the Top 100 Cartoons listed them at a high rank.

15. Britney Spears

Many could argue that I should've put Mariah Carey on here rather than Britney Spears, but I have a few good points as to why that's not true. One, Mariah Carey is still here today, just the same as she was before. She's been singing the same exact songs, with a few twists that usually end up almost ruining her career (Glitter). Two, Britney Spears has the 1990s attitude that Mariah lacks. She was the teen queen of the 90s, Mariah was 27 when Britney's 16 year-old self burst onto the seen with multiple hits. Now, we have two completely different Britneys. We had this sweet, spunky teen in the 90s, now we have a monstrous machine of catchy music that lacks the teen spunk she once had. She's still strong today, and you have her to thank for the likes of Lady Gaga

14. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I'm not talking this unworthy new-millennium remake that Cartoon Network tried to sell, I'm talking the pure 1990s genius of the original TMNT cartoon. While it began in the 80s, it ran until '96, where it garnered way more viewers and became a worldwide phenomenon in this time.  Not only that, they spewed out three live-action movies based on the turtles, two of which were actually good, while the other was released in the wake of the first wave of TMNT's death. Nowadays, most high-schoolers will usually see at least one classmate with a TNMT backpack or some type of merchandise, they've gained a universally strong fanbase since their 1990s popularity.

13. MTV

Back in 1990s, MTV was actually about music, for the most part. Nowadays, they've pretty much killed any meaning their channel once had, and is now a place for insecure (or perhaps too secure) teenagers to bask in the idiocy of reality television. However, in the 1990s, MTV spawned an impressive amount of viable shows and cartoons. Among those cartoons was the surprisingly realistic Daria, and the king of idiotic humor, Beavis and Butt-head. The list goes on for MTV shows, but for me, it peaked in the late 1990s with Celebrity Deathmatch, an absolutely brilliant show profiling what it'd be like if the world's most popular celebrities fought to the death. While Celebrity Deathmatch continued well into the 2000s, it was reformed like the rest of MTV during that time, and lost it's former glory.


12. Nickelodeon

For parents, Nickelodeon was a breath of fresh air. After debuting in the late 80s with a wide array of kid-based shows, they finally got worldwide attention in the early 90s with the consecutive debut of three legendary cartoons, Doug, Rugrats, and Ren & Stimpy. Since then, Nickelodeon produced more and more waves of incredibly cartoons like Hey Arnold and Ahhh! Real Monsters! All of these shows have since run their course, but everybody liked them. My sister was one of the biggest Rugrats fans on Earth in the early days. Unlike every other channel mentioned in this list, Nickelodeon has stayed true to their kid-based broadcasting, although they've lost their touch quite a bit.

11. Sega

"My name's Sonic and I'm cheap as hell on Brawl"

In the early 1990s, after Nintendo basically raped the Atari and stuffed it's remains in the archives of VG hell, someone had to do something about their dynasty. And from that desperation, Sega was born, accompanied by their blast-processed hedgehog mascot, Sonic. For most of the NES and SNES days, Sega proved to be a very worthy opponent to Nintendo's games. Thus telling us: "Sega has what Nintendon't" (OH SHIT BRO). Unfortunately, when the 64-bit era hit us, Sega couldn't keep up for long, and now you can see them producing third-party games for multiple consoles. And unfortunately for Sonic, he's probably the biggest victim of stupid gimmicks to ever be spawned.

10. Gangster Rap

Not withstanding arrest

I'm white, very white. So unlike Wikipedia, I will not call this "Gangsta Rap", to hell with that. Anyway, gangster rap established itself in the late 80s, and soon came to prominence all throughout the 90s with rap group NWA and individual artists such as 2Pac, Biggie Smalls, Ice-T and others. If you guys know me, you know I hate rap, but given that fact, I can truly say that rap was at it's prime in the 90s, because at the time, it wasn't about just becoming a rapper specifically to quickly get rich (50 Cent), nor was it about establishing yourself as a dangerous man who drinks cough syrup to get high (Lil' Wayne). More emotion is in one 90s rap song than the entirety of the last decade's worth of "Gangster" rap. I'll admit, 2Pac was an incredible writer.

9. Sony

When Sega lost the core of it's popularity after Nintendo cut off their ankles with the N64, a new challenger appeared! Sony decided it wanted in, and came out with the first Playstation. The first console to use discs and memory cards as a way of saving and transferring data, Sony took matters into their own hands to try and overthrow Nintendo from their VG throne. And if they didn't achieve that, they came damn close. This console is often called the best of all time, because with games like Final Fantasy VII and Crash Bandicoot on their roster, it was hard to not become addicted to it. Sony has since released the Playstation 2, which many would consider the best 6th generation console, and the Playstation 3 afterward, which has no games

8. Boy Bands

With Britney Spears out in the open to pretty much take over the world with her girl power, people needed the opposite gender to fight back. And man, did they. With the debut of 98 degrees, The Backstreet Boys, and N*SYNC, boy band fever took the world by surprise and turned the music world upside down in the late 90s. With ridiculously catchy songs such as Bye Bye Bye (N*SYNC) and I Want it That Way (Backstreet Boys) in their threshold, boy bands broke the heart of every teenage girl that wasn't my sister, and then left them on the ground to rot when they magically disappeared by the time Y2K hit. With the exception of Justin Timberlake, almost none of them can be seen making a hit song, and have a better chance at making it onto Dancing with the Stars with other forgotten celebrities.

7. Dial-Up

Pictured: A Revolution

With computers finally rising to power in the 1980s, the 1990s needed some sort of gimmick so they could create something completely revolutionary. How does a worldwide-based communication system sound? Pretty, good that's when AOL took shit into their own hands and created dial-up. By today's standards, using that dial-up is worse than listening to an entire Brokencyde album. However, back in the day, that shit was INTENSE. Dial-up is still around today, but people would rather not use the internet at all than try to use it. Broadband has pretty much destroyed any grip dial-up industries had on computers. However, back in the 1990s, that was all we had.

6. Grunge Rock

Amidst the dwindling popularity of 80s hard rock in the early 90s, a new branch of classic Rock 'n' Roll emerged into full spin: Grunge Rock. It all started with a little tune known to some of you as Smells Like Teen Spirit by Grunge pioneers, Nirvana. Soon after, every other Seattle-area based band came out with their own spin on the newly-developed genre. Among those bands were Pearljam, Alice in Chains, and Blood Circus. However, Grunge was painstakingly short-lived, since Kurt Cobain killed himself in 1994, causing both the death of Nirvana and most signs of Grunge Rock. However, Pearljam, Alice in Chains, and Dave Grohl (Nirvana's drummer) continue the legacy that Nirvana started with that one little song.

5. Pokemon

Hah, you guys know me, I love me some Pokemon. In 1996, Japan decided to take this idea to the market, and it blew up immediately, so they thought "Let's get them Americans involved," and man, did they. In 1998, the first booster packs were released in America for their then-awesome trading card game, and that was followed by the legendary games, Red and Blue. Since then, in the 90s, it was followed by what seems to be 60,000 different types of items that related to it. They revolutionized trading card games, RPG Gameboy games, and pretty much everything possible to be revolutionized. Since then, Pokemon is still going strong, making billions of dollars a year with their merchandise, both old and new. Though some may argue that it has lost it's touch, it hasn't, it's just perpetually growing.


4. Beanie Babies

Stuffed animals have always been a huge part of showing affection and love in a playful setting. However, something was missing, a back story. Sure, buy your kid a teddy bear, but what goes with it? Nothing. That's when Ty Warner took matters into their own hands and released the first Beanie Babies in 1993. With it came a short poem describing the Beanie Baby, as well as it's own individual birth date and name tag, specifically for you. In the 1990s, there was no bigger toy. Not only were they used as playthings, they were HUGE collectibles, when a Beanie Baby became "retired", it was time to stock up. They are now huge novelties, and are still being produced at high-speeds to great sales.


3. Cartoon Network

Not pictured: None of that "CN" bullshit.

So yeah, I've mentioned the whole waiting until Saturday for cartoons thing before. But not anymore, after Nickelodeon released their own wave of cartoons, a new channel followed. However, not only was it dedicated to kids, it was dedicated ONLY to cartoons. None of that live-action business. Cartoon Network quickly proved with exclusive reruns of the classic 40s Warner Brothers cartoons such as Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry. However, it finally got an expansion in the late 90s. Soon after, it produced countless legendary cartoons, such as Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Laboratory, Cow and Chicken, Johnny Bravo,  and Courage the Cowardly Dog. Cartoon Network stayed strong until the mid-2000s, when it stopped broadcasting most if not all of it's classics, and started showing cartoons that were funny in their own way, but not anywhere near what they used to have. And after they became the CN, and started with live-action shows that ARE NOT CARTOONS, they've lost their focus. I predict Cartoon Network will be gone within the next couple of years.


2. Nintendo

There's so much to talk about that I was stuck using just their normal logo.

Nintendo DESTROYED our childhood. In a good way, though. In the first two years of the decade, we had the normal NES, which was blessed with great games like Super Mario 3 and The Legend of Zelda, but soon after, we were given the Super Nintendo. Jesus Christ, there is so much good in this system, there's no way I can put it into one paragraph. Super Mario World, Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Donkey Kong, the whole shebang. It was flawless, there was no better way to spend your free time when you were at home. However, do you think Nintendo gave a shit if your heart was about to give out from the joy? No. In 1996, the released the revolutionary Nintendo 64, which on a prior list of mine, I cataloged the best that I could. You can't write in just one paragraph what Nintendo did for kids in the 1990s. And it wasn't even consoles. They had the Gameboy and Gameboy color, which gave us Pokemon and Tetris. The list goes on as long as this list, times 80. Nintendo's probably going to last longer than anything else on this list. However, there is one challenger...


1. Disney

You're now aware that Simba looks like me when I have long hair

Freaking Disney. When putting together a list of the best gimmicks in the 1990s, Disney crossed me on every front possible. They had plenty of video games, plenty of toys, plenty of pretty much everything. But one part of that is where they basically destroyed everything that came close to challenging their power: Movies. The period of 1990-1999 is even called the Disney Renaissance because of the lasting impact all of their 1990s movies had on pop culture. It all started with The Little Mermaid in the late 80s, but then the 90s movies kicked in, such as Beauty and the Beast, Hercules, Tarzan, Mulan, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Aladdin, Pocahontas, and finally, the supreme ruler of all these movies, The Lion King. Disney knew what the hell they were doing in the 1990s. Nintendo could please us kids, yeah. But about the family value? Everybody likes Disney movies, I don't care how old you are or how grown up you think you are, you're never too old for a good Disney movie. That's why they're #1 on my list. Disney always has and never will cease to please EVERYBODY. Absolutely EVERYBODY had something to gain from watching Disney movies. If you didn't like these movies, you either didn't have a soul, or you were Amish. It's that intense. Walt Disney, THANKS (I'm only half Jewish, I swear).


This was one lengthy list, I went all out. My fingers hurt, but this list was really fun to do. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Please give me your opinions, suggestions and feedback, and I'll think of another list to do.

I'm Mr. H, and tonight's show is over.